


Just Like The Movies

by qyoza



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, Mistake, so much relationship drama in this story smh, writing is a grave
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 10:23:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13679775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qyoza/pseuds/qyoza
Summary: Craig swore off of dating and love in general, but caved in as soon as it ruined movie night.





	Just Like The Movies

_“Clyde, stop crying.”_

But Clyde kept crying. He sniffed. “How can I not, Craig? Those _TEN_ reasons!”

Ugh. Craig was beginning to regret letting Clyde pick movies for movie night. But after all, it was either this or…

“For the love of god. No more. Can I just… Please pick the next movie?” Craig pleaded. Clyde gave him a look of satisfaction.

_“So, you finally caved in…”_

It’s a long story. But after Tweek and Craig broke up, Clyde had the smart (well it was dumb, to Craig at least) idea of trying to hook up Craig with random guys. He wanted to find the right guy for his ‘bromigo.’ Craig didn’t want this. He wanted nothing more to do with love or the dating world. _NOTHING._

So, Clyde and Craig shook on this. Clyde wouldn’t set Craig up with ANYONE and in return, Clyde got to pick what movie they got to watch every movie night. It was Craig’s nightmare…

Romcom after romcom… It was driving the noirette mad!

“No,” Craig crossed his arms. “I refuse.”

Clyde let out a sigh. “Fine, Fine. Next up is _Something New_.” Clyde waved the DVD in his hands.

“But we’ve seen that movie over 50 times!” He wailed his arms and Clyde smirked, moving his position on the couch, which made him just hog up more space. This movie was starting to become something old at this point.

_“I know.”_

"I hate you." He let out a sigh, scratching his head. “Okay. One date with one guy. That’s IT.”

Clyde couldn’t believe this. Was he really hearing his bro saying this?

This was something new… No, not the movie starring Simon Baker. This was almost just as good.

The cheesiest grin made its way to Clyde’s face. “This is going to be AWESOME.”

 

* * *

Craig walked into his house, slamming the door shut behind him. Luckily, none of his parents were home, otherwise he would've been scolded for such "moody behavior".

Tricia came thwarting downstairs, headbutting Craig. He barely flinched, but just flipped her off in response.

“Hey!” She returned the bird. Tricia also noticed a solemn look on her brother's face, and not the standard one he always had. “Woah, why so gloomy? Did Tweek break up with you again?” She asked.

“Shut up, Tricia.” Craig removed his coat and hung in on the hanger.

It’s been several months since Craig threw away everything he had with Tweek. The breakup was mutual for the most part.

…Okay, maybe it wasn’t really. Tweek was livid and to be honest he probably still is; the details are unimportant now. Let’s just go back to the story.

“ _Craaiiig_. I’m your little sister. You can tell me _anything_.” The little girl pulled up a chair and motioned for him to sit. Craig rolled his eyes.

“Alright, what are we playing? Doctor? Emotional Therapy? Dollhouse? I know you could care less about my problems.”

Tricia blinked. “Alright, we’ll play dollhouse. While we play, you can tell me what’s going on.” To this, Craig nodded.

Tricia opened the closet, (which was Craig’s state of being at one point) and pulled out a giant dollhouse, which had many dolls. Tricia handed Craig a Ken doll, while she was playing Barbie.

“Alright, so Clyde decided to set Craig up on a blind date. Like an IDIOT.” He made Ken say, rather unenthusiastically.

Tricia blushed. "Clyde...? Your cute friend?" Craig nodded and uttered 'Oh god' to himself before quickly rolling his eyes. Tricia had the biggest puppy crush on Clyde and honestly it was kind of annoying. Well, she was kind of like this with all of Craig's friends. He couldn't help it, all his friends were just too darn good looking.

Barbie gasped. “Well, Ken! Enough about Clyde, I didn’t think Craig would go on another date, not after…”

Craig abruptly stopped Tricia from talking, making Ken slap Barbie.

“We don’t speak of that Barbie, it’s forbidden.”

Tricia looked down. “Sorry Ken…”

“It’s alright Barbie.” Craig made Ken say, and he let out a sigh.

“No, not that. For this!” Tricia made Barbie slap back.

Usually Tricia was much more delicate with her dolls. She really was beginning to be influenced by her brother. That was really either good or bad. Probably the latter.

“Oh, now you’ve done it.” Craig said, his voice stoic. “Killer Ken is back.”

“NO!” Tricia screamed. “STOP REMOVING BARBIE’S HEAD!”

They continued to play like this for a little while. Craig found it tiring. But it was kind of nice.

 

* * *

 

“Oh my god, OH MY GOD!” Clyde had been trying to contact Craig for hours. He swore to god, if he did not pick up- This was the fifth time he called him. It was getting RIDICULOUS. What the hell could he possibly be doing?

“Hello?” A voice on the other line could be heard. It was without a doubt, Craig Tucker.

“Finally, man! I called like forty-freaking times!” Clyde exaggerated.

“I was busy.” Craig rolled his eyes and Clyde could practically heard it. “Oh whatever, who cares dude. That’s not the point. I made a tinder- I know. Why would me, being my hot self, need to have a Tinder? Well, it wasn’t for me. I kind of made one for you.”

Craig’s usually emotionless face now bore an expression, multiple to be exact. He was pissed, confused, and frankly a little embarrassed. Most of all, he was surprised. Perhaps he should've expected Clyde to do something so stupid. Tinder? _What kind of loser has a tinder?_

“NO. I’m not doing this. I agreed to ONE DATE. Not one dating profile. Take it down.” Craig snapped. Clyde sounded a little fearful, but wanted to convince Craig. “Okay, okay. But can you at least look? These guys aren’t cute to me, as I am heterosexual, but I could totally tell these are your type of men.”

“I JUST went over to your house. You think I’m going back just so I can look at some losers, who also have no chance at love? No thanks.”

“Clyde was running out of ideas. "Your movie pick starts now. We can watch whatever you want after.”

 _Damn it._ _He knew how important movie night was for Craig, and used it to his advantage._

“Fine, but I’m bringing Stripe with me.”

“Cool. See you in a few?”

 

* * *

 

The monotonous boy was far from convinced. He felt lied to. The first few guys weren't good at all and Craig just swiped left for them all, utterly annoyed. Stripe had been sniffling near Craig’s phone. Maybe he was also unimpressed? It was weird for him to admit, but Craig was kind of looking forward to seeing some guys that were his type, not these freaking Melvin’s. He kept swiping until…

“Wait, who is this?” Craig asked. “His profile says he lives in South Park. But I’ve never seen him around before.”

Clyde wiggled his brows, a stupid look on his face. “Oh, don’t tell me you actually found a guy you want to swipe for already.” He was delightfully surprised, he didn’t expect this of Craig.

Craig scoffed, but kept staring at the man’s profile. Stripe started popcorning.

“Uh, no I am not.” He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. This guy was overwhelmingly attractive. This had to be a kind of sick joke.

A catfish, maybe? "Just wondering as to why I haven’t seen him around before.” Craig lied. Clyde watched as he continued sit there, idle. Craig elbowed him. "So, are you going to swipe right? Yes or no, be honest.” The brunette gave an encouraging smile.

Craig stared at the profile. He didn’t know this guy at all, except for all the likes and dislikes that were listed on his profile. What was with his bio? “I’m the Disney prince you dream of at night? Perhaps even your true love’s kiss?” Really? The man had style, as well as looks, and he was definitely aware of it. Craig was conflicted.

“Like I said, one date. ONE. I might as well pick ANYONE and get this over with.” And with that, Craig immediately swiped right and clung onto his phone, letting out a tiny yelp.

“What am I doing? How do I go back? Clyde, tell me. Forget I ever did this- Wait a second, did you make my profile picture me from the Christmas party? Goddammit, Clyde I thought you deleted those pictures!” He went on an on but it was no use.

Clyde giggled with excitement, letting out a girlish scream. His bro was finally back in the business.

“Dude, what did you just do!?” Clyde asked, eagerness filling his voice. He knew EXACTLY what his bro had done. He just wanted him to hear him say it.

“I swiped right for some douche named Gregory.”

Craig didn’t feel like he wanted to watch a movie anymore. He did, however, have a bad feeling that his life was about to become one.


End file.
